Yikes.   I can't believe how long its been since I've posted on here.   I think I need to remedy that.    Yet this has become more of a diary for random thoughts than anything else, so maybe its serving its purpose exactly right!

If you flip through the news in the past few days, you’ll see a lot about the passing of “Uncle Phil” from Fresh Prince.   Its kinda crazy how much outpouring of tributes there have been to a fictional family member.   Well I lost my real uncle yesterday.   My Uncle Tom passed away yesterday with very little fanfare, but the impact of his passing is tremendous.  We saw it coming since he had been suffering with cancer.    I’m thankful that he was surrounded by family, so I know he went in peace.   Despite knowing he was terminal and his health was declining, you can never quite be prepared for it.   I wasn’t prepared for the emotional impact it would have on me.  It’s a mixed feeling.   Sadness at the loss of a family member, but more regret.

I was never very close with my uncle.   He was extremely reserved and private.   Yet, he was always there.   For 34 years of birthday parties, holiday gatherings, weddings, etc., he was a constant.   Yet he was a stranger.   I regret not taking the time to get to know him better.   I regret never probing into his story.   What I know of his story is what I gleaned growing up and hearing snippets.   When I was young, he was involved in a terrible car accident and to this day I don’t know all the details of it.    Why didn’t I ask?   Why didn’t I step out of my comfort zone and learn about a man that was always there?   I have my suspicions that I had a lot more in common with my uncle than I know and I will never know if that is true.   Uncle Tom was steadfastly loyal, determined, hardworking and optimistic.   He faced obstacles head on (and he was dealt many of them).   That’s what I know that about him and those are qualities to strive for, but I know there was so much more to him that I wish I could have learned.  

I need to take more time to know the people in my life.   I need to take the time to cherish those close to me and seek out those that I’ve grown apart from.   Life is far too fleeting to get sucked up in petty bullshit, overused excuses and laziness.   So Uncle Tom:   thank you for a final lesson, for the memories and being a constant during our lives.   I wish you peace and send my love.